Common questions about forgiveness almost always center on its limits. How far does forgiveness go? How many times do I have to forgive? When can we say, “enough is enough”? What role does “forget” play in forgiveness? In essence, we’re looking for that line that allows us to “righteously” refuse forgiveness.
Jesus offered two different numbers concerning forgiveness, although with different scopes. Luke’s Gospel says, “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” (Luke 17:3–4, NASB95) Seven times in one day! We can barely get past one or two.
Matthew’s Gospel says, “Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21–22, NASB95) The math is 490 times or 77 times depending on translation issues. In any event, it is way more than three or seven.
Jesus’ words in Luke have two differences of scope from Matthew. Luke provides the prerequisite of repentance. If a brother sins and repents, then forgive. It’s still a stretch though, since the other side of the scope is seven times on the same day. A friend lies to us, we call them on it, they recognize and affirm their sin, we forgive. Once, no problem. Twice on the same day, we begin to doubt their sincerity. Three times and we know they don’t mean it. But Jesus said to forgive the same person up to seven times a day.
While Jesus’ teaching in Luke seems to provide an out in the other person repenting first, that requirement is not found in Matthew. Neither is the seventy times seven connected with a length of time. But imagine the mental energy required to remember how many times we’ve forgiven each of our family members, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances until they cross the threshold, and we can “righteously” refuse forgiveness. Perhaps Jesus is telling us it’s not worth keeping track. Paul alluded to such a possibility in 1 Corinthians 13, where one of the hallmarks of love is not keeping records of wrongs.
Does this mean that we must forgive and forget everything? With the exception of God forgetting our sin, the Bible does not seem to link forgiveness with forgetting. We may very well remember that someone has wronged us; it’s what we do with the memory that matters. Can we remember what they did and forgive them anyway even though they’ve done the same thing all over again times seven? Can we forgive someone and still not trust them in an area?
Let’s explore that for a moment. Let’s say that someone struggles with gossip. We forgive them. After several times we still forgive but also engage the wisdom of being careful with what we tell them. Our hope is their eventual victory over that sin. Exercising that kind of wisdom is not unforgiveness. But if we harbor ill-will and hatred, that is unforgiveness.
After Jesus proscribed forgiveness in Luke, the disciples replied, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:5b, NASB95) The scriptural mandate is a high standard that seems impossibly difficult, almost like running a marathon for most of us. The easiest way I’ve found to walk in forgiveness is to forget counting and forgive freely with wisdom, hope, and love.
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I am very grateful for the sermon on forgiveness. It’s so interesting , though very difficult to follow. Forgiving needs a heart that is broken and which is ready for repentance. Thanks so much for your love ❤️?. Be blessed.