Corinthian Controversies: Singles and Married

Our next Corinthian Controversy begins with a bit of a mystery. The Corinthian church had sent some questions to Paul. While we have Paul’s answer, we do not know the original questions. Paul writes, “Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:1–2, NLT) Chapter 7 answers their questions on marriage, singleness, and abstinence. 

Paul’s basic premise is that being unfettered by marriage is best since the celibate single can fully serve Christ with undivided attention. But Paul also recognizes that is not possible for many. “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” (1 Corinthians 7:8–9, NLT)

Paul also has a command from the Lord concerning those married. “But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10–11, NLT) 

In his discourse, Paul says, “But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” (1 Corinthians 7:7, NLT)

There are some with the gift of singleness and others with the gift of marriage. Both are to be valued and celebrated in the church. 

Okay, that’s a lot to pack into a few words. Paul’s letter contains more examples that we didn’t cover.  

On the practical side of things we know that life is not always that clean. Many singles long for a marriage partner. Many married find themselves in difficult, even abusive relationships. The way forward is the same for both “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Psalm 55:22, NLT) Lean into Jesus, flee sin, and trust Him with your whole heart. 

For the rest that are comfortably single or married, do not neglect the gift you have been given. If single, lean into serving Christ in whatever ways He is leading you. If married, love one another and lean into His leading for you individually and as a couple. Paul’s bottom line is this: how can each one of us best serve Jesus in the situations and circumstances in which we find ourselves? 

Dale Heinold
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