How many Hallmark Christmas movies must one watch before it feels like Christmas? Or how many Christmas songs must one hear? How many presents must one buy for the Spirit of the season to take hold? How many parties and dinners must we attend to feel all Christmassy? How many decorations do we need around the house? Although there is nothing inherently wrong with these activities, the answer is none. Christmas isn’t about things; it’s about relationships.
It may seem that relationships are more of a natural human trait than a gift from God. Everyone has relationships with others—something most of us will experience during the Christmas season. To see the gift of relationship we receive through Jesus, we must look at how relationships are balanced.
All relationships have a give-and-take balance. Often, our relationships are based on a “this for that” agreement. It may have the veneer of something grander, but beneath the surface, it is a simple transaction. Other relationships are unbalanced in the sense of addict and enabler. One takes everything; the other gives everything. One is hyper-self-centered, and the other is hyper-other-centered. Perhaps lastly, there are relationships where there is no give and take, simply self-centeredness, which occasionally gets near others but only for their benefit. All of these are shallow relationships with no lasting value or purpose.
In the drama of Christmas and Golgotha, God shows us an entirely new foundation for relationships based on love, truth, and grace. God’s invitation avoids the error of “this for that,” addict/enabler, and shallow self-centeredness. God invites us to know Him even though we have nothing to offer, and He gives everything. He doesn’t enable our addiction; he frees us from it and heals our brokenness. His greatest desire is for us to love Him and others, breaking the chains of self-centeredness.
This gift of Christmas invites us into an ever-deepening relationship with Jesus. One that digs deep and never depends on “this for that.” God doesn’t weigh our prayers or devotions to determine His love for us. Neither is the relationship built on spiritual highs or false freedom. Instead, God breaks our chains so we may choose to love and follow Christ freely. The expectation is that we will extend to others that same foundation of love, truth, and grace. First to our spouse, then to our families, church brothers and sisters, and ultimately into the world.
This often means tearing up old foundations through repentance and forgiveness before laying a new foundation. And what if the other person doesn’t accept this? We love them, forgive them, pray for them, and do for them what Jesus loved us, forgave us, prayed for us, and did for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves.
This new and firmer basis for relating to God and others is a gift God gave us through Christmas. The cornerstone of this is Christ. Not only of our faith but everything we do, including how we relate with one another. Perhaps it can all be summed up in this one verse, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NASB95)
Unfortunately, this is only a taste of this gift of following Christ. I suggest exploring the “one another” scriptures sprinkled throughout the New Testament to dig deeper. For instance, “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NASB95) When this is in full force, we encourage others and are encouraged by others. More give and receive than give and take. It’s kind of like Christmas, where gifts are freely given and received.
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